10 Must-Ask Questions Before the Wedding March
- by J. J. Austin,
With more than 2 million weddings preformed every year in North America,
it’s safe to say that couples will be making a mad dash down the aisle
to say “I do” this wedding season. So often, brides will spend every
waking moment planning their dream wedding, and it’s easy to forget that
the wedding is the starting point, a beginning celebration of what lies
ahead. Who doesn’t love a beautiful wedding filled with friends and
family celebrating a couple’s love for one another? But, be before you
line up for the wedding march, ask yourself these questions to make sure
you’re ready for the first day of happily-ever-after.
1. Do you have any issues with his family or does he have any issues
with yours? – You may be madly in love with your future husband, but
issues with his family or vice versa could mean trouble down the road.
Resolving problem spots prior to the wedding day is important for the
long-term health of the marriage relationship.
2. Have you discussed what places you are willing and not willing to
live, and do you agree? – This may seem like no big deal and can be
worked out when it comes up, but consider what would happen if you
absolutely hate the cold but he has always dreamed of living somewhere
he can ski year round. Or, maybe career goals will inevitably take you
to a large city and he hates the hustle and bustle of city life.
Marriage is about negotiation, but it is better to know up front what
you’re working with.
3. Have you discussed and do you agree on how your family finances will
be handled? – Finances are the number one reason marriages end in
divorce. Create a plan of how finances will be handled and stick to it.
It will give you both piece of mind to know that this area of your
household is taken care of.
4. Have you discussed and do you agree on matters of food and health? –
Since once you are married you will be eating most of your meals
together, it is important for you to have some area of compatibility in
this area. If you’re a health nut and he’s hooked on junk food, meal
planning could get a bit tricky.
5. Does he have any personal habits that drive you crazy or vice versa?
– We all have sets of habits that are so familiar we don’t even think
about them. Don’t make the mistake of believing that because you are in
love you’ll be able to over look irritating habits. Address them now so
they are not a problem later.
6. Have you thoroughly discussed your religious beliefs and are you in
agreement? – Do not assume that because you both are members of the same
religious group that you do not have differing religious beliefs or
philosophies. Discuss these and be aware of them so you are not
surprised by them in the future.
7. Have you talked about children: if you will have them, how many, how
will you raise them and do you agree? – Knowing the answer to these
things is essential to marriage health. Imagine how heartbroken you
would be if five years into your marriage you found out that he did not
want kids and that was your dream. Going beyond the surface and
discussing how you would like to raise kids is also wise and will allow
you to be on the same page when kids are in the picture.
8. Have you discussed your political views and are they compatible? –
Like religion, this is an issue that can get people fired up. It could
be a marriage disaster if you realized after you were married that your
political views were diametrically opposed to each other.
9. Do you know your personality types and are they complimentary? –
Being aware of each other’s personality type and how that works with
yours will help in how you communicate with each other.
10. Have you talked about sex? Does it appear you are sexually
compatible? – Knowing what you each think is and is not appropriate,
what you each think is “normal” and what your expectations are will help
you avoid any surprises down the road.
J.J. Austin's new book, It Starts With You!, is endorsed by John Gray , Ph.D., author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. She hopes her book will inspire other women to start with themselves and find the love relationship they’ve always
longed for. For more information, please visit www.itstartswithyou.com.
What do you think about these tips? Are there any you would add? Tell us in the comment section!