Stress-Free Wedding Planning?


-by SNJ

I’ve never written or read a “blog” but my husband keeps telling me to step into the 21st century so here I am taking a baby step. Hi, my name is Sabrina, I am a Wedding Consultant and a first-time blogger.

I wanted to start with something that I am often asked about and every bride goes through: wedding stress. How can a bride plan a stress-free wedding? I can answer that with four words: Hire a Wedding Planner! Did you really expect me to say anything else? Truthfully, that is the best way but for couples who can not afford or do not want to hire a Wedding Consultant. I'll give some tips:

Unite and let the planning begin

The most important thing is for the couple to be on the same page about their vision for the wedding, who they want to participate and if they are going to accept family contributions. Once a couple is on the same page, planning can officially begin!

Sources of stress

What’s the greatest source of stress for couples? Family and friends who have “wonderful” suggestions and/or demands. You will hear many say, “it’s your wedding so you have the right to do as you wish,” but if family is contributing monetarily they have the right to “suggest” and/or “demand” certain things. Why? Because they have given you money! It’s best to be clear that any contributions are “gifts of love” to be used as needed for the wedding. If that’s not clear or if they don’t agree, be prepared for the occasional demand or suggestion. How do you deal with those requests? Ideally, you may want to compromise and figure out a solution that makes all parties happy. If compromising is not an option, then you should consider paying for everything yourselves. You are about to take the biggest step an adult can take so why not pay for it, instead of waiting for mommy and daddy to do it.

Always a bridesmaid and never a bride

Remember that saying because someone who has never planned a wedding has no idea what goes into planning one. Bridal attendants will also offer up wonderful ideas. The best way to deal with them is be firm. Let them know you welcome some ideas but you will have final say about most things. You will be reasonable with your requests but, at the end of the day, it’s your wedding and your vision.

The love of your life

Wedding planning can test a relationship. Most men just want to show up. They want to be told where, when and what time. Some do like to have a say in their attire and whether or not there will be an open bar but that’s about the extent of their interest. Don’t try to make him get involved. He has no idea about different shades of peach (it’s all pink to him), what a Save-the-Date is, the difference between thermography or engraved invitations or what a charger is and why the color matters. If you run something past him and he doesn’t become excited, don’t take it personal. You would probably have the same reaction if he discussed cars with you. They just want to get married and don’t really care about all the details.

Juggling work, children, and school

The best way to juggle life and wedding planning is to make lists and prioritize accordingly. As things are complete cross them off the list, try to focus on only a few things at a time. The more your mind has to juggle the more stressed you become. Lists will keep you focused, remember what has been done and what's left to complete.

Your wedding is only important to you. It consumes your day and your thoughts. Yes, family and friends will be excited but they will not be as excited until the day becomes closer. A year or more out and they feel you have plenty of time to plan. They will not understand the urgency you feel to book vendors or get answer to your questions. There are many other things that can bring about wedding stress but these are the normal things brides deal with often and have mini breakdowns over.

Have any other tips? Are you a newlywed who overcame wedding stress? How did you do it? Share your experiences with us in the comments section!


Anonymous said...

Great entry SNJ!

I agree with your suggestion to prioritize. That really helped me cut down on stress. And delegating is also helpful. Of course the wedding coordinator handles a number of items, but some little things like putting invites together or preparing favors can be delegated to the bridal party or close friends and that can be a big help too.


Blog Widget by LinkWithin