Surviving Wedding Season as a Single Girl?

- by guest blogger & dating expert
Tristan Coopersmith

Wedding season is right around the corner… you can smell it with the flowers in bloom, hear it with the chirping birds returning home, see it with the bridal bitches hitting the gym extra hard (I saw one wearing a veil-like sweatband in my spin class last week – true story) and of course nuzzled between your bills and promises to win a million dollars are weekly invites to what seem like everyone’s wedding, but yours. The constant in-your-face reminders that you are single with a capital S can turn the season that is supposed to be filled with sweetness and gorgeous hope into one with an unshakeable devil in a red wedding dress on your shoulder. One where you fixate on how much it sucks to be single, how you will never find love, how broke you are going buying gifts, how likely it is that you’ll be seated next to some creepy uncle and so on and so on. But we all know that one big secret to finding love, is to project love. So, to flick that bad-ass red devil off your shoulder, you need to invite its optimistic cousin, the white angel in, and follow her reprogramming prescription to beat the bridal blues:

1. Stock up on date dresses that double as wedding appropriate dresses, as opposed to shopping for dresses that are meant for weddings. This way, you’ll be less resentful about spending gobs of cash on her day because you will really be making an investment in your dating future.

2. Bringing along a token plus one - your neighbor who has been pining after you for years, your ex, your gay BFF or your local barista, makes you look desperate. Alternatively, get head-to-toe gorgeous and go stag. Weddings can be a great place for a like/love connection!

3. Chances are you won’t be the only single girl at any wedding. Scout out the others, preferably at pre-events and band together as wingwomen, not in misery but in delight, deciding to make the most of this day of festivities .

4. Don’t believe the hype that Auntie Mae bestows upon you in her moment of pity citing, “Ya know dear, they only have a 50/50 chance of making it.” Deflect negative energy by hitting the dance floor with a cute bachelor. Cynicism is an ugly accessory and ruins even the most gorgeous dress.

5. Just because the liquor is free flowing, doesn’t mean it comes without cost. Drink too much and you could wind up being that girl who is puking out her brains and her sad single guts to anyone willing to listen.

6. Weddings are research opportunities to help you figure out what you want/don’t want at your own. Just like practice with dating helps you figure out what you need in a relationship, attending weddings guides you to your ultimate dream event, so use the opportunity to take mental notes.

7. The answer to the dreaded question, “How can someone as fabulous as you be single?” is “I’m holding out for someone as equally fabulous.” This leaves you standing gracefully and proudly single, with a nod to the fact you’ve had options, but turned them down. This eliminates opportunity for condolences or additional questioning, just the way you want it.

8. From the cheesy heart shaped napkins to the PDA obsessed newlyweds and the corny love songs, weddings should be used to reinvigorate your belief in love. You can even use them to interview happy couples about their relationships to give you more insight about lasting love.

9. Why should only newlyweds get gifts this summer? Couldn’t you use a new toaster or some lacy lingerie? Make your own wishlist and for every wedding you attend, treat yourself to a gift, or enlist friends invited to the same weddings and surprise each other with gifts celebrating your fabulous single selves!

10. When twangs of icky feelings rush over, counteract them with a glass of champagne and a toast to your singledom. Toast to the fact you haven’t run off with the wrong guy. Toast to the things you love about your single life. Toast to your eventual future with a wonderful partner because deep down you know that great love is coming your way and its worth waiting for.
And finally, don’t forget to enjoy the cake… no dessert is better than wedding cake, so don’t be shy… have two slices… after all, you don’t have to worry about squeezing into a gown anytime soon, now do you, so indulge while you can!

Live and love largely,

Tristan Coopersmith is the author of Menu Dating: Taste-Test Your Way to the Main Course, which offers a unique philosophy and ‘Sex and the Single Girl’ approach.

Top left photo courtesy of Coco Myles.


Park Avenue said...

This is a great post with amazing tips. Thanks for thinking of us singles ladies!

African-American Brides said...

You're welcome. I love my single readers! :)

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