You guys know how it is. Traditional honeymoons are often all
about spending days in bed and nights lingering over champagne, candlelight and
decadent dinners. But these days, the internet abounds with all-inclusive
resort packages, hotel deals and cruises that cater to honeymooners who want to
bring their kids along. A soon-to-be-released romantic comedy starting Adam
Sandler and Drew Barrymore was even recently renamed The Familymoon. However,
at least one well-known relationship expert argues family honeymoons are often
not very funny or romantic. To get the scoop, we talked to relationship expert, April Masini of AskApril.com.
“Family vacations are great -- but
they're not known for lots of sex, intimate walks on the beach where you
discuss your future together, and candlelit dinners with wine and caressed
fingertips,” says April. “They're known for rough
and tumble, somebody getting carsick and, if you have a blended family, new (or
established) jealousies and sibling rivalry. None of this is the stuff of honeymoons.”
Masini is all in favor of
inclusiveness when it comes to the wedding ceremony itself. But, by definition,
honeymoons should be exclusive, even when it comes to the couple’s own
children. After all, it’s hard to have raucous relations or even long, intimate
discussions over meals when there are kids in the next room who need breakfast
or bedtime stories.
“When it comes to a honeymoon, remember what the
honeymoon is about: it's a celebration between the two newlyweds to mark their
wedding with romance, sex and intimacy,” says Masini, who offers relationship
advice through AskApril.com. “Including the
children will completely cut into that celebration and dilute it at best -- but
tank it completely at worst.”
Although a family honeymoon may seem
like the perfect opportunity to solidify a blended family, she says it’s more
important to establish yourselves as a couple first. Statistics have
shown that 50 percent of first marriages, 67 percent of second, and 73 percent
of third marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Blended family drama isn’t the
only factor behind those numbers, but anyone who has ever planned or even
attended a wedding that involves children, stepchildren, exes and multiple sets
of grandparents understands it can add stress to the new union.
“This is even more reason to take a honeymoon
that is just the two of you,” says Masini. “It gives you a break from all these
relationships at a time when you most need it -- after having planned and wed
in a blended family wedding.”
It may be difficult to find
childcare for long enough to allow for an extended and exotic romantic getaway,
but just a few days can make a big difference when it comes to building a
relationship – and a family -- that lasts a lifetime.
“Even if your honeymoon is a weekend
away -- in town or out of town -- it's a great memory to make and preserve, and
a great way to start a new marriage,” Masini says.