How to Engage Your Groom in the Decision Making Process

- guest post by Samantha Dockery of Bliss By Sam Weddings

It is unfortunate that most people think of the wedding day as the bride’s day when in fact it is a significant day for the groom as well. After all, isn’t he the one that got the ball rolling by popping the question?
With that being said, it’s very unfair to not involve your groom when it comes to the decision making process for the wedding. We know that, in general, most men don’t care about what shade of pink the cocktail napkins will be; however, here are some key things you can do to ensure they enjoy the planning process and your wedding day just as much as you will:
1. Set priorities for the budget together. Talk about what is most important to each of you and ensure funds are allocated appropriately to that budget category.
2. Once you’ve completed Step 1, put him in charge of choosing the wedding professional for that category. Remember – only impose on his decision if it goes against the grain for the entire theme of your wedding. Otherwise, sit back and relax. See, doesn't it feel good to delegate a bit?
3. Let him choose his attire. This is tricky because he most likely hasn’t seen your dress. The most important pieces of information you need to provide him with are the color of your dress (a swatch would be best because there are many different shades of white and cream) and wedding colors.

Again, swatches of linen would be great for him to use. Armed with these, the formal-wear shop will work with him to make a decision on what suit or tuxedo will best compliment your dress and formality of the wedding. If you want to go the extra mile, show the salesperson at the formal-wear shop a picture of your dress. They’ve done this enough that they know not to spill the beans!
4. Review the checklist of all the tasks that need to be completed for the wedding. Let him choose the ones he wants to be responsible for. Also, be sure that the time-lines for completion of each task is clearly denoted. If necessary, gentle reminders regarding upcoming due dates are a nice touch but don’t be overbearing. After all, this is the man you’re marrying. Don’t treat him like a child during this process.
Following the tips above will surely assist with smoothing over the planning process for your wedding. Congratulations on your engagement – now get your groom engaged in the process!

About Bliss by Sam:
Bliss by Sam is one of the most sought after event-planning firms in Durham, NC and the surrounding areas. Samantha Dockery Sam and her team work with busy, discerning brides to reduce stress throughout their wedding planning process and on their wedding day, so they can relax and enjoy the moment. Their gorgeous work has been featured in everything from The to Weddings Magazine, Southern Bride and Groom Magazine and Durham Magazine. Check them out at or on their blog at


love.boxes said...

great ideas! I liked the one about letting the groom choose his attire. It sounds risky, but I did that and it turn out really great. If you have a groom w/ no taste you could give him some options maybe :)

Quiana aka Haute Chocolate aka Mrs. B said...

Great and & a oh so necessary post!

Dajuan said...

Hi Sam, great article. Thank you for looking out for us fellas too!

american bridal said...

f you think about it, in almost every case, it is the bride who is in charge of planning the wedding. She makes all of the big decisions about style, vendors, and all of the rest. Sure, some grooms may have opinions and may even have a nearly equal say in matters, but the reality is that the wedding is usually the bride's show. After all, most women have a picture of a perfect wedding in their mind (even if they won't confess to it), but very few men have even given the subject a moment's thought before they become engaged.

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